Secrets Become Second Nature
You have fetishes, deep desires. Perhaps you’ve had them for years. Keeping your secrets has become second nature. It’s interesting to me when I find out that you have never mentioned them to your wife/girlfriend. As long as I’ve been sexually active I’ve been open about my sexual needs with my partners. I want to hear about their too. But I do understand that there are reasons why you may decide to keep your fetish desires compartmentalized from your primary relationship.
A Negative Reaction
I remember a caller telling me that he talked a bit about his enjoyment of wearing panties when he was first dating his wife. She was not excited by the idea and did not even want to discuss it. He never brought up the subject with her again. He continues to wear panties but because of that experience he has a real fear of being caught in them.
It’s really a shame with a woman shuts down a new erotic idea as her first reaction. There are so many fetishes that are easy to experiment with, harmless and do not need to turn your sex life upside down. My advise to you is to bring up your fetish at the right time in a playful way. Think about it from her point of view. What’s in it for her? Make sure to address it from that view to help her ease into the idea.
You Know Your Partner
I don’t know your partner, but you do. If they are really conservative, or uptight, it may be best that you keep your fetish a secret. An intelligent client told me years ago that he’s always been a sexual explorer. He is up to try just about anything. But his wife is a very conservative person. He could not even imagine her getting involved in the cuckolding scene. I had to agree that he is likely correct in that thought. for some personalities, there are fetishes that are simply too much of a stretch for them to consider.
I’m not going to try to change your mind. It’s none of my business. But if you do decide to reveal your fetish to your partner, do so cautiously. Understand that you cannot put the genie back in the bottle. Once you reveal your secret, it’s out. If this fact is a block to getting your partner involved in your fetish fun, know that I am here to engage with you. You need to explore it with someone. Fetishes do not go away. The more you try to push them down or neglect them, the stronger they get. Much better to indulge regularly in a safe manner so it doesn’t blow up into a HUGE fetish monster that urges you to do something that could turn your life inside out. We don’t want that.
Clandestine Fulfillment
You may simply prefer indulging in clandestine fetish fun. You like being rather naughty. It does have an allure, doesn’t it? Ask yourself this…does doing something in secret excite you? Is it more fun for you to call me when you have privacy than to bring up your fetish with your partner?
It’s totally fine if you answered yes. I get it. Some things are absolutely more exciting when done in secrecy. It’s true. You can’t deny it! Know that I am here, open minded and delighted to be part of your naughty secret fetish life.
Keeping Secrets
I want to know about you. Tell me why you keep your fetish secret? With my extensive background in the field of mental health, I’m endlessly intrigued by the workings of your mind. I truly want to know more about you. Leave a comment below telling me why you prefer to keep it a secret from your partner. Let me know if you ever plan to tell your lady about your hidden desires.
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It will be so great : I won’t have to worry about revealing myself to a new woman. Ohhh that dress, just above the knee, it was satiny and stiff, red with 3 inch black polka dots, black chiffon lace around all of the edges and some like a small apron in front. And then this very, very full petticoat that was also stiff yet felt so good. I had it hanging in my closet and whenever I wanted I would just hold it up against my body. It felt so erotic and yet so relaxing at the same time. Then one day… it was gone! Along with at least 10 other pieces of women’s clothing, even from in my dresser drawers. And I flipped and asked her what the hell? and she said that she just needed some room for her stuff. I was so appalled and hurt, why did she think that she had the right? Anyway, that was then and now it’s over. But that dress! wow, so great! Love, Jennifer L LR
It sounds so pretty, Jennifer. Looking back on that, it’s clear that she could not handle your fetish. It’s likely she thought she could control you by getting rid of your feminine things. It’s not going to work. All that happened is that she’s gone, right. You continue to explore your girly desires. It’s been a glorious 11+ years sharing your journey. *smile*
Hello, I have told a few gfs about my crossdressing, it has never gone well. It has never gone outrageously bad, except for the time she threw out so much of my favorite clothing ; this favorite red polka dot dress with black netting on the outside, and attached petticoat on the inside, I truly loved that dress. Most women have been benignly disappointed in me and we have just let our beginning relationship die. So, this time I am going to a dating site that explicitly has sissy crossdresser right up front. Wish me luck.
I’m sorry you had those experiences, Jennifer. As you know, I applaud you for going after a kinky woman who is more likely to be open to your fetish. It makes so much more sense in the fetish dating world. That red polka dot dress sounds fabulous!